Saturday evening, I find the time to write after all. This evening I replied to e-mails, did some things I wanted to do for weeks even found time to read some magazines. I still don’t feel like reading though. This blog is supposed to be about books but it seems that since I started writing I don’t read much. Is there a connection, I wonder? I’m listening to Corrine Bailey Rae, a new discovery. In England she is being hailed as the new Billy Holiday. OK, she’s good but not that good. People are so easy to fool, they want so much to experience the new Billy or the new Rolling Stones or the new Hemingway. Our own lives seem to have no value whatsoever, the present sacks, the past is always appealing.
This reminds me of a quandary I faced a few years ago. I was trying to decide myself, whether to live my life according to the past or the present. Sounds funny? It was a really low period, professionally, I felt I had made so many mistakes and I was paying for them by working in crap jobs and doing a hundred different things just to make ends meet. I just couldn’t forgive myself, couldn’t forget the past and move on to the present. For weeks on end even months I would remember the “MISTAKES” and cry and feel down. But then one day I woke up and didn’t want to be down anymore. I moved on. I wouldn’t be so harsh on myself anymore and look ahead. But then if I wanted to apply that to all aspects of my life what was going to happen to my relationship? That (surprise, surprise) wasn’t going very well either and only if I looked in the past and believed in what had once been there, could I survive the present. So now what? Do I look ahead as far as professional life is concerned and trust the good ole past times to find courage to face the every day wear and tear of a relationship? Hell, yeah. Whatever works is fine! That’s my tip for today!
That’s all about the past. Now time has passed, things have been looking up professionally, the relationship is still here, so it seems I’m doing something right.
This week was so busy because I had a name day to prepare too. And so many mishaps along the way. Things started going wrong when the washing machine broke down last Friday. We fixed it (at 50 euros it was a cheat), and then the next day the oven breaks down right in the middle of baking two trays of brownies and two trays of muffins. Thank goodness I have good neighbours who helped out. Another 50 euros down the drain, and then yesterday, the door of the (same) washing machine breaks beyond repair. The factory has closed down, of course (damn Margaret Thatcher, it was a Hotpoint). So today we signed for a BOSCH one destined to last forever according to the salesman. That salesman had an irritating way of repeating about the “Γερμαναράδες” and how good they are at making washing machines and cars. He must have said it at least three times! So this week not only did I spend 100 euros to repairs, put down a deposit for a 504-euro washing machine but had the brilliant idea of going on strike for two days losing another 100 euros. What a week! Tonight I’m staying in to balance the bill a bit.